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Day I Died

Day I Died

As published on June 21, 2015 at 12:46pm.

The rails ran ahead in front. He walks from girder to stones, unaware, and lost in thought. Nothing to expect, but for the distant sound of an approaching train. In his absent mindedness, he slips on a stone and hits his head on a rail.
Dazed he wakes up in a chair. The rails are nowhere to be seen. He is in a large room, empty except for himself, two chairs and a wooden table. As his eyes comes into focus, sitting on the chair opposite to him, he sees himself.

He asks, “Am I dead?”

The other smiles and says, “Not yet”.
“Who are you?”

“Who do you think I am?”
He raises one eyebrow, “Am I dreaming?”

“You don’t think dreams are real?”
He is confused and agitated. “Why are you asking so many questions! Who are you?”

“I’m you”
“Then who am I?”

“Good question. Who are you?”
“I’m Sam Immanuel”.

“Who is Sam Immanuel?”
“I am Sam Immanuel!”

“You didn’t hear me. Who is Sam Immanuel?”
“I am Sam Immanuel, son of J Immanuel and Emily J Immanuel, born on October 25, 1972. I own many of the most successful companies of this country. I married to”, he corrects himself, “was married to Jannet”.

“Is that all?”, the opposite man asks.
“Yes. Now tell me who are you”.

“I already told you. I’m you”.
“Cut this crap okay. Tell me what is going on”.

“I am here to help you”.
“Help me!” He chuckles. “Help me with what?”

“Help you remember”.
“Remember? I do not wish to remember anything”.

“Yes, I know. Isn’t that why you were trying to suicide?
Sam looks down.

“Sam”.
He looks up.

“What is in your hand Sam?”
“In my hand”, he looks down, and gets up suddenly. The chair falls. In his hand is a gun. He drops the gun on the table. He stares at the gun, then at his image sitting opposite to him, and asks, “What is going on here!”

“Sam, sit down”.
He gets the chair and sits down reluctantly.

“So Sam, what was in your hand?”
“A gun”.

“What is a gun?”
“Something you use to kill people!”

“How does a gun kill someone?”
“You think this is a joke! What do you want from me, huh! You want me to kill myself. I was doing that exactly a minute before. I can do it again. Is that what you want? I’ll show you how a gun kills someone”. Sam takes the gun in his hand. Coils and puts it to his head.

“Go on Sam. Pull the trigger”.
He hesitates. They both look into eachother’s eyes. Sam puts the gun down, looking dejected.

“For someone who was about to commit suicide Sam, you do not look confident”, he continues laughing.
Agitated and sad, Sam asks “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to remember”.
“Remember what Mr”, “What do I call you?”

“You can call me Sam, or maybe Sam 2 if it is too confusing” he laughs.
“Are you god?”

Laughing, “Yes, I’m god”
“But why are you looking like me then””

“I’m the god within you”.
Sam chuckles, “Yeah right”. “The god within me”, he mumbles.

“Yes, I’m the god within you”.
“Okay, so if I accept that, that means, I am god right?” he mocks.

“Yes”.
Sam laughs even louder. He quiets down seeing the smile on the other’s face. “Fine, you are god, I’m god. Then what about the rest of the world?”

“They are all you Sam”.
“Yes I have heard this shit. I’m you, I’m this table, I’m this chair. Right?

“Yes”, he smiles.
He is agitated. “Listen crackhead. This is me. That is you. I am not you, and I’m definitely not a table. I am Sam. Okay?”

“Ah! So who are you?”
“I’m Sam Immanuel you dumb head! What is wrong with you!”, he mumbles something.

“Sam. You see the table different from you because you see through your five senses.”
“What?”

“Close your eyes Sam.”
He closes his eyes.

“Imagine a large tree. Can you see?”
Sam nodes.

“Now explain to me what is a tree.”
“What?”

“Explain to me what is a tree.”
“Okay. A tree is a large…”

He interrupts. “Sam, I’m blind. I do not understand big.”
“Okay. A tree has good smelling flowers”.

“I cannot smell”.
“Right. You can touch a tree and feel how big it is”.

“My skin cannot feel”.
“This is ridiculous!” he opens his eyes.

“Try Sam. Please explain to me a tree.”
He closes his eyes again, “A tree gives tasty fruits”.

“What is tasty?”
He opens his eyes, “Right, now you are going to tell me you cannot taste”

He smiles.
“And then you will say you cannot hear”.

He smiles again. “Observe Sam. Open your eyes. Your entire life you have lived using your five senses. All the separateness you see is because you live through the five senses of the human body. See how you cannot define anything without the aid of your senses.”
He appears to be deep in thought.

“Now Sam, answer me. Who is Sam Immanuel?”
He shakes his head. “I do not know”.

He smiles. “You are not just this body Sam. You are a free flowing spirit. A light. You are the arms through which the creator works. You are the eyes through which he sees, you are the ears through which he hears. You are an embodiment of god, sent to learn and serve.
“Learn and serve? Learn what? Serve whom?”

“Your specific purpose in this life is specific to this birth”.
“I’m not getting you”.

“Imagine an inventor of a robot. He invents robots and gives him tools, so that it will act and talk like him. Or in other words, he is trying to make the robot as good as himself. That is the aim of the creator as well. He wishes you to grow up and be the creator.”
“Hmm. Makes sense”.

He smiles.
“So you are telling me that I took birth to experience and learn, so that I can become a god?, he laughs.

He smiles, “Yes”.
“Okay, okay. Will I not join him if I just kill myself?”

“By skipping your challenges in this life, you are going to make your journey even longer”
“What?”

“Before taking birth, your spirit decided the challenges you will face in this birth and gave you the tools to overcome them. By killing yourself you are not learning anything, but avoiding to learn. Hence you will have to face the same challenges again in another lifetime”.
“Okay, so what is my challenge in this life?”

“Ask yourself. You will know your purpose when there is a deep resonance within yourself. A loss of sense of time, a loss of yourself. Remember when you felt that.”
Sam smiles remembering “I used to feel that while writing, as a kid”.

“Then that might be your purpose. Use it to serve the world”.
“But what about money?”

“Money is just an extension of the concept that everything has a price. You bought into the idea of money, you took money as real and worked for it. You lost touch with your core, your source. Your accumulated money could not give you happiness. You started going down the drain and here you are trying to kill yourself.”
Sam lowers his head.

“Find your deep resonance. Live it. Everything else will come to you when you need it.”
“What do I write about?”

“Anything that resonates with you. Serve others through your gift. Be the hands of the creator. Let him work through you.”
Sam smiles, “I know what I’ll write about. I’ll write about the day I died. The day I was reborn. The day I opened my eyes. I’ll write about all you showed me. Everyone is not lucky to meet their true self”, he winks.

He smiles. He reaches for the gun. He coils it. “You remember Sam. Now it is time to leave”. He points the gun at Sam’s chest.
“What! After all this you are going to kill me! No. I want to live, please. Give me one more chance!”

He fires the gun.
Sams covers his chest with his hand.

“Most importantly Sam, learn to laugh”, he takes out the plastic bullets.
“AIR GUN! Air gun! All this time” Sam laughs.

Sam opens his eyes.


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